The Puff-Puff Passage of Hash House, or, why ‘We shall have no House without a Smoking-Room:’ Westcott’s Methods, explained
‘By God, Sir, we shall have no Cigars in the Library, and we shall have no House without a Smoking-Room.’ - First Librarian Doctor Ambrose Westscott
Image credit: The Book of Hours Wiki, edit by Eldra Echo
tl;dr:
The purpose of the Hash House Hush House Smoking-Room — a.k.a. the Puff-Puff Passage — is to provide a place to perform rituals that produce smoke.
The writing is invoking the Calyptra, given the epithet ‘Smoking-Room’ is a trifold pun.
1.) It’s a room where renowned smoke show Doctor Ambrose ‘Straight Outta WestScottsdale Arizona 480* Blaze It’ Westcott would smoke cigars.
2.) It’s a room where librarian performed rituals that involved smoke.
3.) It’s a room that, when found by The Twelfth Librarian, is full of smoke, and is thus, smoking.
*480 is the area code for Scottsdale, Arizona.
l;dr:
The description for the dispellation of Actinic Theoplasma reads, ‘The Westcott Method. The process has been refined over the years, and no-longer requires tobacco-smoke. If indeed it ever really did.’
Presumably, the Westcott Method had to be performed in an actual place. Where was it performed?
The Westcott Room.
The description for the unlocked Westcott Room reads,
My hypothesis: the reason/justification for the Westcott Room’s initial inclusion in Hush House was not (solely) because Westcott wanted a place to light up that grade-A primo Port Noon wacky tobaccy, but also, for actual librarian reasons, involving cleansing books.
The Westcott Room
Pre-unlocking, the Westcott Room is called the Smoking-Room, with a hyphen. This may be a pun: it’s both a room that is used for smoking, and a room that is smoking, given the Hush House fire.
The description of the room, pre-unlocking, states,
Let’s break this down.
1.) The Westcott Room is a Smoking-Room. It may not be the only Smoking-Room. Smoking-Room may not be the only epithet for the Westcott Room. But, the Westcott Room is a Smoking-Room.
2.) The ‘rags of very old smoke’ are followed by a colon, followed by ‘what remains of the protection van Lauren once placed on [the Westcott Room.]’ Ergo, whatever protection van Lauren placed on the Westcott Room either involved smoke or has smoke as a byproduct/after effect of the warding process,
The room has smoke in it, but no signs of a fire. I’ve been told that ‘where there’s smoke, there’s fire.’ I think this implies at least one of two things.
1.) The smoke in the room is not associated with the Hush House fire, but is still associated with fire. In this case, this is an issue with the writing, and it should say ‘no sign of the fire.’ However, I don’t think this is an error in the writing.
2.) The smoke could be from a source other than fire, or at least, the stereotypical fire involving wood set aflame by a match.
There is, of course, the question of whether the smoke, like fire, may be metaphorical. Fire has been used to describe things metaphorically in the Secret Histories universe before, notably, in the description of the Formula Fissive, the 10th level Forge lore fragment in Cultist Simulator.
But did Ambrose light up and pipe up in the Westcott Room?
Yes. The Grail armchair, ‘Ambrose’s Favorite Chair,’ found in the Westcott Room, is described as ‘Somewhat pocked with cigar-burns.’ It can be pretty reliably assumed that The First Librarian was also the Dankest Librarian, given that the room contains a bottle of Domaine Raveline, described as having a ‘plummy’ and ‘meaty’ flavor, which would go well with one of Ambrose’s signature fire phalanges. He was, in short, getting straight up lit, with a glass of red in one hand, a cigar in the other, mixing fuel and flame in hedonistic fashion, like the product of a Forge and Grail Hour.
Surprisingly, the room does not contain Westcott’s Compounds, which are explicitly described as usable as tobacco flavorings. Whether the Compound’s omission from the Room is due to game balance, oversight, or because Ambrose smoked all those jars up, is a mystery lost to time. Perhaps, in another history, the Westcott Room contains those Compounds, and more…
But like, what’s it all for, man?
The various Hush House librarians have had rooms dedicated to their follies, e.g. the Mazarine room, however, those rooms also seem to serve purposes. The Mazarine’s room is strongly associated with heart, sky, and rose, for instance, as well as The Thunderskin. So what is the purpose of the Smoking-Room? Couldn’t Westcott just smoke his fat nasties outside?
Ambrose Westcott, a bad bitch if there ever was one, wrote some old-ahh book called A Shape in Smoke, in which he describes lies as something that can be ‘burnt’, As seen in the attunement texts for Purifications & Exaltations, fire is associated with cleansing. As previously mentioned, the method for dispelling Actinic Theoplasma is called Westcott’s Method and used to rely on tobacco smoke.
So what does this all mean?
The Smoking-Room may also be used for smoking out and burning out things like contaminations in books. It does not merely exist as a place for Westcott to smoke that dank kush until he became straight up Obliviate, although that may be the case as well. In fact, that gnarly keef (of which he’s the chief) that he’s puffing might be the very thing that protected the library during his tenure.
But was it really a Puff-Puff Passage? What proof is there that there was any passing of the puff-puff?
Sadly, I don’t believe there are records of Westcott necessarily hosting guests in the Westcott Room. The room does have arguably three seats — an armchair, an ottoman, and a desk stool — however, Westcott could’ve just wanted three chairs in the office.
Well, now, hold on a second. The flavor text stated…
‘The Westcott Method. The process has been refined over the years, and no-longer requires tobacco-smoke. If indeed it ever really did.’
Ergo, the tobacco-smoke was useless and The Smoking-Room was not necessary for Hush House
FALSE
That phrase could mean a lot of things.
The process’s refinement means that it no-longer requires tobacco-smoke. However, an unrefined version of the process could still need tobacco-smoke.
Note that the smoke is specifically qualified as tobacco-smoke. Perhaps it turns out that any smoke is usable. Or, a smoke other than tobacco smoke (perhaps some Sea Holly?) would work as well/in place of it/better/whatever.
There is the keyword there, ‘if’ indeed it ever really did, which means it’s open to interpretation, and in my interpretation, I’m open to the Westcott Method needing some sort of smoke. ‘If’ does not always mean ‘no.’
It’s also important to remember…
This quote is just about The Westcott Method. Tobacco smoke could be useful for both the Westcott Method and other practices. It could be useful for just the Westcott Method. It could be useful for everything but the Westcott Method. It could be useless entirely. Who is to say?
Bonus question nobody asked: if the other Librarians utilized the room, what would they have used it for, in typical Scaler [the Secret Histories equivalent of a Stoner*] fashion?
(If you use this post in a play through of Book of Hours as a way to remind yourself what order the busts go in, I am sure the Weather Factory will forgive you…but I’m not sure your parents will.)
Second Librarian: Kitty Mazarine: Her music wasn’t the only reason that Hash House was popular under her tenure. Probably listening to Scaler music while smoking up that dank nasty hashish. Used to write sheet music on rolling papers, and use sheet music as rolling papers, after she had too much…so, by default. She brought new strains from across the Atlantic. Definitely had a drum circle at least a few times.
Third Librarian: Solomon Husher: He smoked so hard that he went out into the snow randomly and just didn’t come back. Nightmare blunt rotation material. Winter is in the ashes.
Fourth Librarian: Fraser Strathcoyne: Really more into wax and had a sick dab rig. Talks about conspiracy theories and puts on documentary reels when he’s ‘buggin’ out.’
Fifth Librarian: Natalia Brulleau: Likely only used nicotine and other stimulants, to stay…on Edge.That sword made of ‘ash’ she had? Big cigarette she’d use to fill the duelling hall with smoke to calm down Edge dyads — not as part of any ritual, per se, but just to deprive them of oxygen and make them faint so they could be handled.
Sixth Librarian: Willem Harries: Tough to say. On the one hand, religious, on the other hand, I’m not sure that St. Agnes bans the use of substances. On the other hand, Harries was Dutch, and Amsterdam, in all histories, is know for its…herbs.
Seventh Librarian: Thirza Blake: Grew her own supply (Nectar has its rewards.) She was too busy refining her strain (named Applebright Euphonies — a cross between apple and tobacco, ‘tobapple’ was the rejected name) and getting blitzed to realize she could sell that sweet dank-dank for that even sweeter Spintria to fund Hush House.
Eighth Librarian: Sir David Greene: In a rare case of reverse nominative determinism, Sir Greene likely did not smoke that gnarly green grass ganja gas in The Puff-Puff Passage, given his background as a Noc [the Secret Histories equivalent of a Narc*] under the Nocturnal Branch.
Ninth Librarian: Brian Levinsen: The good doctor only used herbs for…medicinal purposes. After all, there’s a reason there’s a garden by the hospital ward…!
Tenth Librarian: Serena Blackwood: Smoked to forget/cope with her role in Coller’s…machinations.
Eleventh Librarian: Gervinus van Lauren: You’ve heard of Gandalf the Grey. Well, meet Gervinus the Green. We already know he was a hotboxxer, given the flavor text of the Smoking-Room. He smoked so hard that the smoke was discovered by the Twelfth Librarian. That’s pretty intense. His smoke was so thick it was in rags. He was voted most likely to be able to blow a smoke ship (The Shape in the Smoke) from Hush House to Port Noon, and that’s facts.
Twelfth Librarian: You tell me.
*Scaler and Noc are obviously not canon terms.
What’re the dream and nightmare blunt rotations of Librarians?
Dream blunt rotation: Thirza Blake (product,) Kitty Mazarine (music,) Ambrose Westcott (technique and maybe edibles)
Nightmare blunt rotation: Sir David Greene (literal narc,) Solomon Husher (needs a babysitter but won’t communicate,) Natalia Brulleau (type to get paranoid about the other member of her Edge Dyad,) Serena Blackwood (not smoking for fun, but to cope)
Unclear: Gervinus van Lauren (he is Noc adjacent and isn’t even cool with St. Agnes, but he could hotbox The Forge of Days if he tried,) Willem Harries (only speaks Dutch when absolutely zooted off that zaddy zizza, and I do not speak Dutch personally,) Fraser Strathcoyne (depends on if you’re in the mood for rants about the Pentiments Precursor,) Brian Levinsen (the Strathcoyne issue but with weird medical cases)
